Duke
Duke was a good dog. He had little brown puppy eyes, light brown and black hair (a German Shepard of course,) and a pointy little snout. One day in Van Horn, Texas, Adam and I were playing outside with his dog Duke. “Fetch!” Adam commanded. The stick was in the air going as fast as lightning! Next thing you see a big mouth come up, bring it down, and… starts playing with it? ” Duke!” we both said, “you dumb dog, your supposed to bring it back not try to eat it!” Then he looked at us as if trying to say, ” Please! Please! Please! Can I play with it?!” ” Fine, you can play with it while Adam and I go get a snack,” I exclaimed. “Yay!” he said with his little one foot jump. When we came back outside nothing was there. We went to go tell our parents, get fliers, and put them up all over the city. That week was so gloomy. It tuned out that nobody had found him, but if somebody did I know he’s in good hands.
shulburt on 23 Feb 2008 at 5:07 am #
How sad that Duke got lost! I’m wondering how you felt the MOMENT you discovered he was missing. Did your heart sink? Did your mind race wondering where he could be?
frankiet on 24 Feb 2008 at 9:23 pm #
Was Duke special to you?
fernanda on 27 Feb 2008 at 12:05 pm #
The part that you talked about you losing your dog reminded me about me losing my dog to but in another way.But you know what else I really like the please! Please! Please! Can I play with it?!
lee on 27 Feb 2008 at 12:08 pm #
I wonder If you found duke.And how did you fill when he eat your book. did you fill happy,sad,or angry.
samantha on 27 Feb 2008 at 12:13 pm #
Abel,I think you need to Stretch your story ,and I like the sentence you used:That week was so gloomy ,it turned out nobody found him ,but if they did, I know hes in good hands now.Was Duke special?
Stephanief on 27 Feb 2008 at 12:17 pm #
Abel,what I find good about your piece is that you did use some author’s tools like dialog and and a simile. I can make a connection with your piece because I had a rabbit named Sahara and one day she had just disappeared so we went out looking for her and then gave up, so about a week later we had found out that she had been attacked and chewed up by our neighbor’s dog. But one thing that I think you need to improve is, how did you and or Adam feel when you saw that Duke was gone, and what thoughts were going through you mind when you were putting up the fliers. If Duke is really dead or you think he is I recommend you to read Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant because I think or hope it will make you think of the positive stuff that Duke will be able to do.
Abel on 27 Feb 2008 at 12:26 pm #
Frankie, Duke was very special to me.He wasn’t my dog, but he was a very special dog. I think anybody would love to play with him!
Abel on 28 Feb 2008 at 11:05 pm #
Thank you Stephanie for your great advice, I think I will read Dog Heaven!
christian on 10 Apr 2008 at 10:00 am #
Hey man I know how you feel. But I still wonder, did you ever find him?