Dallas
One beautiful day my family and I drove to Dallas. One light we stopped and then we drove the car went vroom vroom. Before I knew it we were in Dallas . When we got off we went to my aunt’s house. She greeted us at the door and my cousin Aaron was picking at my uncle’s head as if he were a monkey. I giggled to myself. He was the only fish in the sea. He rolled off and hit the carpet, BAM. It looked like the carpet swallowed him. I couldn’t bare it any longer. I gaffawed or laughed so loud. When that was over I said to my aunt ”I’m starving.” So then me and my family had dinner then we went to bed . I had to sleep next to my cousin Aaron. O.K. i thought until he actually fell asleep. His snoring was like thunder. So we went fishing the next day. I caught a fish. It was so small I thought it was somebody else’s bait. My dad caught a killer white bass and my uncle well lets just say it was barely big enough to eat my fish. Well that’s Dallas for me.
So what? I think you need to focus on one event.
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I like how you all those authers tools in there like the carpet looks like it goobled him up one thing you should improve is add more to Dallas and more about it ather than fishing.
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