posted by marka on Dec 3
After a day of school I was finally in my room drinking water. Ten minutes later I got bored and decided to play video games so I put the water on my desk and when I let go I never heard a thud, and it eventually spilled onto the plug outlet. But I didn’t care so I plugged it in and then ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! I fell down and couldn’t move. “Ow, man this place is a house of horrors”. There I was stunned on the floor, motionless . ”Mom mom!” I tried to get up but my body didn’t. Five minutes later I was still on the floor. “Dinner!” my mom said , two minutes later she came by my room and saw me, yelled at me then dragged me to the hospital. We were there for two hours after that I learned to never spill water on outlets.
January 20th, 2010 at 5:47 pm
I like how you used ontompiea. But you could maginfy the moment more were you got shocked. You could also use inner dialogue you could say I lie there motion less awaiting for someone to help me. As I wonder am I going to die?